Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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