i can't believe i had my finger in that
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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