if i can run in heels then i can drive
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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