totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
