Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
