Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
