need another drink. this is the easiest way
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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