i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
