Jerry, you need to find god
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
