I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Oh god it's open bar.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
