So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
