walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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