ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
