its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You took a bar mat shot.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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