dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
