Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
