i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
