is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she smelled like a LAN party
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
