OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
