It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
