I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Nicole vs. Life
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
