This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
