i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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