I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
