hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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