You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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