Got a toothbrush?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
