I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
