remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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