8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
