Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
