All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
