yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Buhtt sex?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
