can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
