I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
