um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
