so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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