you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So vagazzling was a success
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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