There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
