it's like iHOP with fire
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
