Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
