If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he puts the penis in happiness.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
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