Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
