so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Mom said you looked used
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I will pee on everything he values.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
