All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
