I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
