I must be too annoying 4 u.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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