just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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