If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
