i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
