She's JV to your varsity
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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